HOW TO UNDERSTAND AN AUSTRALIAN


Pot, spunks, thongs… rooting? As a traveller to Australia, this is the kind of alien rhetoric you’ll be up against.

Here’s our guide to making yourself understood by the locals. AND at the bar. Where apparently, it’s okay to order pot without getting arrested. Read on…


UNDERSTANDING FOOD & BEVERAGES

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GOON = Cheap wine, comes in a box
Use in a sentence: “Grab the goon bag and let’s go to Damo’s place”

GROG = Beer
Simple enough. However, the measurements can be a minefield
Pot: A small breakfast-sized beer (285ml)
Middy: Same size as a pot, but in Western Australia and New South Wales
Schooner: A large beer (425ml) other than in South Australia, where they confusingly refer to this as a pint
Pint: An actual pint (570ml). Thank god, finally something that makes sense
Stubbie: A bottled beer, often found in a “stubbie holder” to keep cool
Slab: A 24-pack of beer (aka, the grog mothership)
Confused? A beer would probably help.

BARBIE = Barbecue
Use in a sentence: “Did you see Mick just put his snag (sausage) on Ken’s barbie!”

ESKY = Portable icebox
Use in a sentence “Flick! Chuck that slab in the esky, warm beers are for Poms” (See “Poms”)

BOTTLE-O = Liquor shop, often of the ‘drive-thru’ variety (you read this correctly)
Use in a sentence: “Hey mum, can we stop at the Bottle-O before school? I’m parched”


HAVING “RELATIONS”

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SPUNK = A gentleman of more than average good looks
Use in a sentence: “Kath, your old man’s a right spunk!” (Kath: “Screw you”)

ROOT = Starts with F, sounds like duck
Use in a sentence: “The tire on my bike is rooted”

FRANGER = Condom
Just use it, full stop.

PASH = First base
Use in a sentence: “She’d just finished a Vegemite roll, but I pashed her anyway”

BIG NOTE = To brag or boast
Use in a sentence: “He was a right big note and I stunk of Vegemite, but I pashed him anyway”


DISCUSSING CLOTHING & FASHION
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THONGS = Flip flops or jandals, NOT a ladies undergarment
Use in a sentence: “Mate, saw your nan in her new thongs, she looked smokin'”

G-BANGER = THIS is a ladies undergarment
Use in a sentence: “Yeah, nice g-banger Jack. Get that off ya missus did’ya?”

FLANNY = Checked shirt
Use in a sentence: “Er, that’s a very nice flanny you’re wearing?”

SINGLET = A sleeveless garment, vest or “wife beater”
Use in a sentence: “Really? You’re really going to keep your singlet on?”

TOGS = Swimwear
Use in a sentence: “And then I turned around, and his togs had gone! Gust of wind apparently”


TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE

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BOGAN = An uncultured individual
Use in a sentence: “That wife beater (see “singlet”) makes you look like a right bogan”

Pom = An English person (not always complimentary)
Use in a sentence: “Can’t believe those bleedin’ Poms beat us as cricket again!” (Those Bleedin’ Poms: “We can”)

RELOS = Relatives
Use in a sentence: “Oi Deano, put that away! I’m FaceTiming my relos”

OLD MATE = *Honestly? We’re not entirely sure*
Use in a sentence: “I just saw old mate down by the slots. You know, old mate!”


JUST OTHER WEIRD STUFF

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KEN OATH = For real
Use in a sentence: “Shano, we smashed through that slab last night eh?” (Shano: “Ken oath mate!”)

UTE = A pick-up truck
Use in a sentence: “She said, let’s pash in the back of the ute”

DUNA = Duvet
Use in a sentence: “I said alright, let me just grab a duna”

SPEWIN’ = To be angry
Use in a sentence: “And then she hogged it all night, I was spewin'”


Footnote:
Other suggested methods of communicating with an Australian include raising the end of each sentence to sound like you’re asking a question (think Destiny’s Child, “Question?”) and adding an ‘o’ at the end of everyone’s name.


 

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