WHAT BACKPACKERS SAY (AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN)


A bit of backpacker bravado never hurt anyone. And besides, you’ll never see these people again… probably.


The first thing I do when I get to a new place is explore and talk to locals.

What’s the Wi-Fi password please?

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This bracelet? No idea. Oh wait, I think some tribesperson gave it to me in Africa.

It was from Topshop. I love their new festival range.


 I understand waaay more Spanish than I can speak.

I have no idea what that bus driver just said, but he sounded really cross.


No, that’s cool! Join us and grab a beer! 

God, I hate strangers.

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A few of us are meeting down at the bar later if you want to come?

God, you’re so fit.


No! I LOVE travelling on my own.

I’m so lonely. It feels so cold. Did it just get really dark in here?

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I was here like, ten years ago, when there was nothing but a goat herder and family of feral dogs.

I’m also the kind of person that says they don’t like bands once they’re famous. And I’ve never been here before.


I never eat anywhere that guidebooks tell me to, I only eat where locals eat.

I had a foreign McDonalds yesterday, but these people look really judgy.


Yeah, cute story, we met on our gap years! At a beach party in Southeast Asia

We met on Tinder. And our first date was at a Wetherspoon’s. In Nottingham city centre.

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Yeah, the trek was fine. But we’ve been travelling for ages, so we’re quite fit. 

I couldn’t walk for days, and we had a blazing row half way round.


I got the train up to Machu Picchu. It’s not that I’m unfit, but I just get asthma… sometimes.

I hope they don’t ask to see my inhaler.


Of course, you should totally look us up when you get to the UK! 

Damn you Facebook. It was much easier when you just gave people false numbers. Stalker.

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 This one time, when I was in the jungle, my malaria tablets made me dream of dead people..

I heard that this can happen. And it’s totally cool to pretend to see dead people, right?

(Was that freaky kid in Fifth Element cool? No. He was small. And scary.)

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Nah, you won’t wake me when you get into the dorm at 2am. I’ll sleep through anything me!

I hope that weird guy in the end bunk wees on you in the night. And why didn’t you invite me out? WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME? Oh god, AM I that weird dorm guy?


I travel because I love experiencing new cultures.

I travel to get laid. 

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